


No Better Version of Me

by talesofsuspense



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (I think this counts), (angst feels like a stretch - it’s VERY light - but there are Feelings), AKA Tony’s old, Domesticity, Established Relationship, Fluff, Growing Old, Light Angst, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Retirement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 15:52:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18369203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesofsuspense/pseuds/talesofsuspense
Summary: When Tony announces his retirement publicly, he’s not ashamed to admit he cries.





	No Better Version of Me

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this laying in bed in the dark at 3:30AM to soothe myself in the wake of thinking about A4 and all the hurt that’s going to bring. I’m actually not a huge proponent of “Tony and Steve retire and everything’s fine,” but I do wish they could have happy ending in spite of my own pessimism/character interpretations, so I tried to be realistic with it and have a healthy mix of both point of views.

Tony has already been thinking about it for awhile when he says it. And there's a part of him that always worried that this is the wrong thing to do. He’s tried before and always ended up back in the suit at even more frequent intervals. But another part of him, a bigger part, that wants more time with his husband, that part wins out.

 

He’s in bed with Steve and it slips out. Not totally accidentally, but he had planned on being a little more smooth about it. But leaning gently against Steve’s side while they’re both propped up against the headrest, Steve’s warmth seeping through his own shirt, he can't help but blurt it out.

 

“So I’ve been thinking about retiring,” and he doesn’t even look up from his tablet when he says it, just lifts a finger to push his reading glasses back up his nose from where they’d fallen too far to be comfortable anymore. Steve only stills for a minute before he shifts, the sheets ruffling a little as he sits up straighter and wraps an arm around Tony’s waist, stroking at a sliver of skin that’s peeking out from under his tank top.

 

“When?” Steve asks, voice so soft that Tony melts a little more into side.

 

“Mmm,” Tony hums, scrolling through the latest science journal Bruce had emailed him that morning. It’s about developments in prosthetics. “I’ve had the papers drawn up for months. So… basically whenever.”

 

He feels Steve reach his other hand up to start massaging his scalp and he lets out a little pleased noise. 

 

“And you’re certain about this?” Steve asks. Tony is a little shocked by this hesitance, so he tips his head back to catch Steve’s eye. He looks relaxed, but there’s a little furrow in between his eyebrows. Tony resists the urge to try to physically smooth it away. “This isn’t- you don’t feel pressured or anything, right?”

 

Tony shifts, dropping his tablet onto the bed and shoving his glasses onto the top of his head so he can put his focus solely on Steve. He turns to face him, kneeling on the bed and leaning forward to cup Steve’s jaw, stroking the line of it up behind his ear in the way he’s learned over the years relaxes him the most. It works, as it always does, and Steve’s muscles go a little more lax, his posture less rigid.

 

“If you mean has the media been publishing articles about my age and grey hairs again, then no,” Tony presses a soft kiss to Steve’s forehead. “Well, they probably have, but I don’t care. I’m retiring because it’s time. My sight isn’t so good, my reflexes are slowing more and more every month it feels like. I’m no longer young and agile. Besides, we’ve got Riri now. And Viv, Kamala, Miles. Plenty of new, younger heroes. Carol’s having a field day with them, and I know you are too. I’ll still have a presence, just— I won’t be Iron Man unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

 

“It’ll be so weird,” Steve says, his voice sounding a little thicker. Tony’s heart aches in his chest at the sound. “Not having you on the team, I mean. Not by my side on missions anymore. It’s hard to even imagine.”

 

“Yeah, we’ll have to come up with new stuff to argue about,” Tony jokes, trying to lighten the mood and ease the tension he can see building back up in Steve’s shoulders. He knows Steve is being serious though, so he leans forward with a sigh, resting his head on Steve’s collarbone. “It’ll be fine. I’ll still be here, to offer my advice. And I’ll still be building things. You know I’ll never stop doing that. I just- well it’ll be nice to be waiting for you at home. I’ll be a house-husband. And you won’t have to worry about me getting injured anymore. You always hated the way I’m prone to getting hurt.”

 

He feels Steve rubs his cheek against the top of his head and grins into the space where Steve’s neck meets his shoulder.

 

“And besides,” He continues, pulling his head back so he can watch Steve’s face when he says it. “If I’m already retired, it’ll be less of a shock to the world when you retire, too.”

 

Steve sucks in a breath, mouth quirking down and shaking a little. Tony had expected this though, so he doesn’t let it get far.

 

“I’m not saying you have to now, and I’m not even trying to pressure you into thinking about it. God knows you have  _ years _ left in those muscles, if that’s what you want. I’m just pointing it out. And maybe I’m a little selfish, but I do like the idea of fucking off to some small town in the Midwest with you when we’re both too old to make it up a single flight of stairs.”

 

Steve snorts at that, relaxing back against the headrest, “You’d never make it in a small town, Tony.”

 

Tony grins at him, “You’re one to talk, Mr. Brooklyn Boy. And besides, I’ll have you know that I went to an annual robotics summer camp in southern Illinois one year and I loved it.”

 

“Okay,” Steve breathes out, bringing his hand up to push a loose curl behind Tony’s ear. “I’m not ready for retirement, for me. There’s just- there’s so much I can do yet. But- if you’re sure about this, I’m behind you. I do love the idea of a house-husband.”

 

“Yeah?” Tony grins, moving again so he can lie down, setting his glasses on the side table before rolling back and pulling on Steve's arm until he relents with a roll of his eyes and lies down next to him. “I’ll have dinner cooked for you every night by five.”

 

“I think I’d rather order in,” Steve laughs, draping an arm over Tony’s waist and dragging him closer until they’re pressed chest to chest, kissing his nose when Tony protests the insult to his culinary skills. “I get to throw you a retirement party, though.”

 

Tony snorts, “I think Rhodey might already have dibs on that. He’s been dropping not-at-all subtle hints that I should join him in retirement for years.”

 

“Hmm,” Steve hums, sleep starting to finally tug at his eyes. “I’m sure he won’t mind help party planning.”

 

—-

 

When Tony announces his retirement publicly, he’s not ashamed to admit he cries. It’s been a long journey. 16 years of superheroing and it’s by far the most important section of his life (It brought him Steve, after all). There’s an exploding of support, of heartfelt thank you’s and people begging him not to quit. He gets more letters in the first days after his press conference than maybe ever before. He reads every single one, too, side by side in bed with Steve and a box is tissues. 

 

So, it's not easy. It’s an emotional week and his heart aches more than he had even expected. But Steve is there, and the rest of his team, his  _ family _ , waiting for him when he gets back from his last interview of the week — of forever, at least about this — with balloons, a party hat, and a piece of cake that Steve hands him with a kiss to the cheek and a  _ I love you, I’m so proud _ whispered into his ear.

 

If Tony plans with Sam to start subtly encouraging Steve to retire in a few years, well, that’ll stay between him and Sam.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from a line of Hozier’s “Jackie and Wilson” (AKA one of his best songs).
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated, of course!


End file.
